


Late Night Thoughts

by GuardiansLibrary



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Fluffy Ending, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, References to Depression, Unrequited Love, pretty angsty, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-25 16:16:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10767876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GuardiansLibrary/pseuds/GuardiansLibrary
Summary: First eddsworld fanfic woo! Tell me if you want another chapter. Or if you want to request a prompt! (Or another ship. I pretty much like all of them)





	Late Night Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> First eddsworld fanfic woo! Tell me if you want another chapter. Or if you want to request a prompt! (Or another ship. I pretty much like all of them)

CHAPTER ONE

 

               His room chilled his skin to the touch. In contrast, his forehead beaded with sweat, he could smell the salt of his face and feel the heat on his neck. He woke up in a jolt, flinching into consciousness. His melancholy dream still hanging in his brain like a fog. He remembered, sitting, maybe a little too close to his housemate. They sat in the night’s silence as they sat on the rim of the backyard pool, looking up into the sky. Although there wasn't much to see, they kept gazing up into the sky.

 

    Their bodies were almost touching. So close. 

He wanted to be closer, but his heart that pounded in his chest protested with his brain. 

_I’m not right for him. Anybody else but me would be better for him…_

 

    He tore his gaze from the sky and lightly kicked his feet in the water.

 

    _He’s perfect… And I certainly am not._

He let out a quiet sigh, feeling his chest starting to tighten up and his face getting hotter, his eyes became glossy.

 

    The boy next to him looked over at him. “What’s wrong Tord?”

 

    Tord chest constricted and he felt his throat close up as the boy asked. He was bursting at the seams with emotion. But how could you pour your heart out when the person you loved was your best friend. Your only friend. 

 

“Edd…” he uttered. Tord dared not to look up at Edd.

 

    “Is something wrong? Are you okay?” he whispered, edge in his voice.

 

    Tord’s mind buzzed with overbearing thoughts until he couldn’t keep the tears in anymore. He gasped and sobbed.

 

    Edd quickly scooted closer to him to comfort him, placing his hand on Tord’s opposite shoulder. 

 

    “Tord, calm down. It’s alright. It’s just me… There’s nothing to be scared about.” Edd said softly, leaning over so he could get Tord’s eye contact. But Tord had hid his face in his hands and curled up into his torso. He was choking on whines that he was trying to silence.

 

    A few more sobs and Tord had gained his voice back. 

 

    “Edd…” His voice raspy and pitifully quiet. “I think… I- I don't know if you feel the same way, but- I think I like you…” Tord looked up at Edd. 

 

Edd’s face went blank, processing what was happening. 

 

    His face shriveled up in disgust. He quickly pulled away from Tord and stood up, “I’m not gay! That's gross!”

 

    Total shock took over Tord. “Wh-what?” he managed to utter out.

 

    “Goodnight Tord!” Edd practically yelled as he slammed the back door behind him. 

 

    Tord never felt so… empty.

 

    His soul was crushed.

 

    He couldn’t even cry.

 

    He couldn’t move.

 

 

    Tord gripped the fabric on his arms, gasping on the air as his brain replayed out the scene. Like a broken vinyl record. 

    

    _“I’m not gay! That’s gross!” “Wh-what?” “Goodnight Tord!”_

 

    Tord gripped his arms so tightly he felt the blood rushing to the surface of his skin where his nails dug into. He went to pull up his sleeve.

He hovered his hand over his forearm, ready to drag his nails across his skin. 

_No, I’ve managed to last this long without hurting myself…_

 

    He dropped his hand and bundled his blanket into his fist, his other hand covering his mouth as he began to involuntarily whine and choke. 

_What did my therapist say to do?_

 

    Tord thought for a moment before shakily standing up to sit at his desk, flicking on the desk lamp. He retrieved a leather book from one of the drawers and began scribbing down all his thoughts. He kept writing and writing until his brain went numb and he buried his face into the fold of his arm, resting his eyes. Soon, before he knew it, he fell asleep. 

 

 

    Edd’s sleep was disturbed by the light that filtered through his window. 

_I need better curtains. Jot that down…_

 

    He sat up and wiped the dried crust from his eyes. Edd rolled off his bed and stumbled down the hallway to the bathroom. Then, down to the empty kitchen. He glanced to the stove clock, it reading 10:43.

 

    _Better wake everyone up…_

 

    Edd visited Matt’s and Tom’s rooms first, as they were the first ones down the hallway. Both of them begrudgingly got up and went downstairs to wait for Edd to make breakfast. 

 

    The last door was Tord’s room. 

 

    Edd lightly tapped on the wooden door with his knuckles. When an answer didn't come, Edd peered in.

 

    He saw Tord sleeping hunched over on his desk, with the lamp on. He amused to himself before stepping in, “Hey Tord!” 

 

    Tord snapped awake.

 

    “I can’t imagine you slept well on the desk.” Edd joked, a smirk spreading on his face. 

 

    Tord glanced around, realizing that he did fall asleep on the desk. “Oh! I didn’t even realize I did. I guess not.” he let out a halfhearted chuckle.

 

    Edd laughed softly before leaning onto one hip, “Alright, go ahead downstairs. I’m making breakfast.” 

 

    Tord nodded sleepily and wobbled out of the room. 

 

    Edd looked around his room, filling up with slight irritation. 

 

    _I’ve told him like four times this week to clean his room!_

 

    He began hastily picking up loose clothing from the ground and adding it to the bundle in his arms. 

 

    Picking up the last few, he tossed the pile into his hamper and looked over the room again.

_He left his light on, ugh._

 

    Edd approached his desk, flicking off the light. His eyes caught the messy handwriting on the opened book displayed on the desk. 

 

    He was going to leave it but had skimmed over his name in the writing. 

 

    Edd clenched down in his teeth in thought. Curiosity took over him. 

 

    He leaned down and read through the book.

 

  _I woke up from an awful dream about Edd and I. We were sitting by the pool looking up at the stars when I started to cry. He looked so pretty and I felt like shit about myself so I just… cried. When he asked me what was wrong I told him that I like him and he told me that I was gross and stormed off. Now I feel even more like shit…_

_But! On the brightside, writing this out made me feel better. I managed to overcome wanting to scratch at my skin. Yay?_

 

    The entry went on about the rest of his day so Edd decided to stop. 

 

    He blinked blearily and gazed off into the distance. 

 

    He didn't know what to think.

 

    Edd snapped out of his blank train of thought as he heard Tom yell for him. 

 

    Edd chewed on his bottom lip, he flicked the lamp back on, so Tord would think he didn't see the book. 

 

    He quickly went back downstairs, pushing the questions that buzzed around into the back of his head.

 

 

               Later that week, once the food in the house was running low, Tom volunteered Edd and Tord to go get groceries while Matt and him played the new Super Smash Bros.

 

    Tord, feeling particularity drained that day, saw no point in arguing with him.

 

    Tord sat quietly in the passenger's seat listening to the radio. He duly looked out of the window, zoning out of reality. 

 

    Edd had suddenly turned down the radio to almost zero. “Can we talk for a minute?”

 

    Tord blinked back into existence, beginning to feel a heavy atmosphere around him.

 

    “What about?” he mumbled. 

 

    Edd cleared his throat before speaking. “Well, remember a few days ago when you fell asleep on your desk?” 

 

    Tord slowly nodded, not entirely sure where this was going.

 

    “Well… You left your journal open-”

 

    “-you looked through my journal?!” Tord said abruptly, loudly. 

 

    “No! Tord, listen! I wasn’t going to but I saw my name and I got curious?” Edd tried explaining. He looked over at Tord who was avoiding eye contact, staring out of the window. He was clenching the end of his hoodie in his hands. 

 

    Edd tore his gaze away from him and back on the road. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? But I think you should know that I wouldn’t think you were gross if you told me you were gay…” said Edd in a softer, warmer tone. 

 

    He glanced back over to Tord who still had his eyes locked on the road and his hoodie in his fists, but his eyes held back a wall of tears.

“And Tord…” Edd choked out. His own eyes holding back tears.

 

    “I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself because you think that I wouldn’t accept you... You're my best friend. Nothing would change that.” his voice wavered and he brought his sleeve up to his eyes to wipe away the hot tears. 

 

    At this point Tord didn’t care about holding back his tears.

 

    Edd pulled the car over to the side of the road.He unbuckled himself and turned his body towards Tord. 

 

    Tord had covered his face into his hoodie sleeves. 

 

    “Tord…

Tord, look at me”

 

    Tord tore his face from his hands and glanced up at Edd with a pitiful look on his face.

 

    “You were my first best friend. The first person that actually cares about what I say. And the first person that has supported me all the way through. I love you with all my heart… And no one will ever be able to replace you.” 

 

    “Edd, what are you trying to say?” Tord felt a little spark of hope.

 

    Edd glanced around, “Maybe we can try and see how this works out okay?”

 

    Tord sat for a few heartbeats processing what he’d said. “Are you serious?” he let out a puff of amusement. “Of course you aren't! You're not gay…”

 

    “I’m serious…”

 

    Tord’s heart skipped. “Edd.”

 

    Edd wrapped his arms around Tord, setting his head on one of his shoulders. 

 

    Tord could feel Edd’s heart racing on his chest. He wondered if he could feel his too. Tord returned the hug, burying his face into Edd’s hoodie. 

 

    “Please don’t let go…” Tord mumbled into the fabric.

 

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”


End file.
